Band Review 17 Years Too Late: The Cranberries

Before you go saying "The Cranberries? Really? Weren't they popular about 300 years ago?," I suggest you stroll on over to their Wikipedia and educate yourself on the album they're going to release in 2012. THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES. The Cranberries are back. Alright! ("Backstreet Boys" reference. Sorry).

Anyway, now that I've schooled you, let's move on. There's nothing like sliding in a few Cranberries songs onto a contemporary playlist to take it to the absolute next level and blow the toupées off of your balding friend's shiny heads. Most of you may know them by their numero uno hit "Zombie" which is unarguably one of the best songs ever recorded on the face of the planet. "Linger" and "Dreams" were also extremely popular in the 90s and admittedly, much less about bombs. Just listening to their dulcet banshee-with-musical-training-like tones conjures up images of Jordan Catalano being sexy yet difficult and Rex Manning putting the moves on girls way too young for him (the song "How" made its orgasmic appearance in the cult classic Empire Records). Just in case you're a musical fetus and have yet to experience the Cranberries in all of their glory, here are some Youtube videos of their greatest. Have a listen:

I'm not going to post the album-version of "How" because I firmly believe that you should just watch "Empire Records" if you want to hear it. They just don't make popular rock music like this anymore, do they? What would we compare the Cranberries to today? Hinder? Nickelback? Three Doors Down? I would rather die.

This karaoke picture was technically
taken during Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise,"
but you get the point.

Most of you reading this know who they are and have probably sang one of their songs at karaoke, much to the dismay of everyone involved. Let's face it, nobody can hit those awkward yodel-y parts quite like Sinéad O'Connor Dolores O'Riordan. Improve your life by simply downloading their albums and listening to them all the way through. If you're feeling particularly sexual and adventurous, add "How" onto your playlist right after "Gin and Juice II," but before "Judas." Trust me, you won't regret it.


  1. I'll love you forever for the Empire Records reference.

  2. I'll love you forever for loving me forever for the Empire Records reference. One of my favorite movies ever. <3


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