I Spit on Myself In My Sleep

Not once, or even twice; I've hock-tooied all over my own face at least three times this year alone. Before you become concerned, it's not a matter of extreme self-loathing. Last night, for example, I dreamed that someone was feeding me loose powder makeup and then I woke up to me spitting all over myself. It's like some unintentional, recreation of a Flavor of Love episode except I don't even get to fight anybody.

This picture sort of looks like it could be from a dream.
These aren't the only recurring dreams I have that affect me in real life. I have zombie dreams at least once a week, if not more. That probably has something to do with the fact that I am constantly talking about zombies. Why? Because I heart them and I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse. The dreams, however, wake me up and then leave me paralyzed in fear because my brain makes me think I'm still participating in the zombie apocalypse and that I fell asleep on the job. Suddenly, my roommate who got up to go to the bathroom is a rabid zombie ready to bite my face off and here I am, NAPPING.

I'm not sure if this post really has a point, other than to tell you that I spit on myself in my sleep sometimes and love zombs. I guess it could be worse though, right? I've definitely had dreams about peeing and pooping and have yet to wake up covered in my own excrement (thank God). But at this rate, who knows? If I can spit on myself while I'm unconscious, what awaits me in the future?


  1. Hmm.. I've had 3 dreams like this in the past 2 months but never before in the rest of my 27 years of life... One of these dreams I tasted a certain part of a girl I used to date and woke up and spit on my pillow.. The second time I was given a piece of plant or flower and told to smoke it or swallow it, so I put it in my mouth and chewed it up and it tasted really bitter, and I rant to a sink to wash my mouth out, swished some water around, and when I went to spit it out, I woke up and spit straight into the air! The last one I don't remember having a dream, I just woke up and spit and fell back asleep and didn't remember it until a while after I woke up again.


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