Product Review: Lush's Ultrabalm

I don't know why this post and my last post have both been so review-y. Maybe I'm under the illusion that people care about my opinions. Either way, I might review more shit in the future so hopefully these types of posts are tolerable.

I went to Sephora the other day to buy new makeup because I finally realized that the MAC Studio Fix Liquid Foundation I was wearing was a couple shades too dark and extremely cakey. I was expecting to go into Sephora, grab something by Make Up For Ever, and bounce (especially since I'm extremely awkward and avoid the sales associates like the plague). However, a very friendly Sephora employee, named Adrianne, approached me while I was trying to shade match myself for Make Up For Ever Duo Mat Powder Foundation and decided to go above and beyond the call of duty (haha doodie). After consulting with me about my skin type, she removed all of my makeup (she could tell I was really uncomfortable doing that, but was very supportive and told me it would help her find the best makeup for me), and told me she was going to try the Laura Mercier Oil-Free Tinted Moisturizer on my face. I had heard wonderful things about this product before and had actually considered getting it, so I was pumped. After she put some on with a pretty, fluffy brush that I ended up buying (sucker...) and added some Benefit Boi-ing Concealer, my skin tone was even and all of my small imperfections were covered up completely and naturally. I have very oily skin, so I have to wear a powder on top of the tinted foundation to set it so it doesn't slip off of my face, but other than that, it is absolutely perfect for me. And my face finally matches my neck!

Anyway, I kind of told you that little story so that I could segue into my next story. While she was taking off and putting on my makeup, the sales associate noticed that the area around my mouth, under my nose, and around my eyes was very dry and almost flaky/scaly. This was completely new territory for me because I have always had the oiliest skin ever and have never once had to deal with dry patches. I had thought that the flakiness was due to the cakey MAC foundation, but it was actually super dry skin! I was sent home with some Boscia exfoliator and a sample moisturizer to remedy my meth face. Unfortunately, despite the exfoliator and moisturizer making the rest of my skin radiant and smooth, the aforementioned areas were still dry and flaky. I was at a loss.

I started brainstorming yesterday in the late afternoon and remembered how I've heard a lot of people say Vaseline really helps them get rid of super-dry patches of skin. I didn't want to buy anymore things in case they didn't work so I thought a bit harder. Then, I remember that I had bought a mini tin of Lush's Ultrabalm from a very convincing sales lady (Lush sales people are simultaneously the best and the worst) about two months earlier. The mini tin was only $2 and I could bring it back in, empty, for 10% off (or something similar) the regular-sized Ultrabalm. Before bed last night, I slathered the balm on my upper-lip/under-nose area and all around my eyes.

This morning I woke up with perfectly smooth, flake-free skin. It was that simple and only took one night and $2 to fix. When I first bought Ultrabalm, it was described to me as "Lush's version of Vaseline, but without all of the crap in it and BETTER." That's exactly what it is. With an ingredient list solely of organic Jojoba oil, Candelilla wax, and Rose Wax, this is a must have for anybody with dry skin or anyone who has oily skin and discovers that their mouth is freakishly dry one day. The full size is $12.95 and a little bit goes a long way. Why are you still reading my post? GO BUY THIS SHIT.


  1. ohhh thank you sweet angel, i have those dry patches around my nose/mouth too and i haven't been able to fix them ;_;

  2. I am not even kidding when I say that the Ultrabalm worked for me overnight. You could just ask them for a sample for free at Lush to make sure it'll work for you too before you buy the whole container!

  3. This has nothing to do with dry, itchy skin or make-up or floor staff. I definitely just spent the last HOUR (okay, I'm probably lying, it was more like 3 hours) reading old entries and then e-stalking your Tumblr and Facebook (which, by the way, is private - rude!).

    I am such a creep but you are so witty and I can't think of anything to say that would redeem this weirdo creeptastic comment, but yeah. 'Sup.

    (Also, I would have just kept it a secret and continued e-stalking in private but I realized I commented on one of your older entries which seems weird and then also immediately followed you on Tumblr. It seemed unavoidable!)

    Post script: My captcha to write this is "minkin". That sounds so cute! Aw. :3

  4. Hahahaha! I love this comment! You're so sweet. Thank you so much. I'm going to go follow you back on Tumblr now.

    And also, "minkin" sounds like "merkin" and if you don't know what the latter is, you should look it up.

  5. I looked it up and I am so thoroughly appalled, oh my gosh. Why would anyone-- Nevermind. I just don't even. Words cannot. Ohhhhh boy, hahahaha.

    And you're welcome! :D

  6. I don't know! Some people love them some pubes. I got nothing.


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